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Joanna Flavell's avatar

Thank you for sharing this Java - beautiful as always. As a naturally extremely nosey person, I really love getting a glimpse into how people ‘run’ their lives - and yours is a particularly inspiring life.

I’m at a cross-roads myself, I absolutely love my job as an academic, and a lot of my self identity is wrapped up in it too. But I’m finding myself more and more frustrated that my work is behind a huge paywall and that the university is becoming more and more confined and can’t support more creative expressions of knowledge creation. So, I’m wondering if I should branch out a little more, diversify my income streams and buy myself more creative space…

What I’m trying to say is this - thank you for sharing this in an honest way, without sugar coating it but letting others know there are ways of living that doesn’t rely on selling your labour to one place to have complete control over!

P.s. Tell the Story of your Home is great!

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Jennifer Granville's avatar

Weirdly, the only thing I found hard to leave behind about academia was, as you put it, the 'self-identity' issue. As for the rest of it - all the frustration you outline - never looked back!

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Joanna Flavell's avatar

I have heard this a lot... It seems no-one who leaves the ivory tower behind regrets it and I find that extremely comforting! Still, it's a scary leap...

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Jennifer Granville's avatar

yup - it was made clearer for me when a very good friend asked me 'if you were told you didn't have to go to that job any more would you be relieved or disappointed'. Once she had put that in my head I couldn't get it out. the answer was 'relieved' all the way. I gave my notice in for the end of that academic year and never regretted it. Less money for sure, but just don't miss it. Miss the students and the colleagues but not ANY of the other stuff!

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Java Ceridwen Bere's avatar

That’s really interesting that that is part of your frustration, the accessibility of your work. I totally get the identity thing as well. I know quite a few academics and I can see how their identity is tied to their work, very similar to artists. There are certain industries and areas that definitely lean themselves to this more so than others. I used to feel that a lot about the theatre. I wasn’t entirely sure who I was if I wasn’t working in the theatre. And then stepping out of it made me realise how much my experience in it could inform my other work. It’s an ongoing inventory of our lives isn’t it? X

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Annie Ridout's avatar

Also wanted to say: I’m now drawing on paper rather than on the iPad too and felt similarly uneasy about it. At first, I was double tapping the paper to return the drawing to what it was before. But I have just ordered a nice rubber, for my pencil drawings xx

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Java Ceridwen Bere's avatar

Oh that’s so funny, the tapping the screen, I’ve noticed my youngest doing that occasionally with different things, handling it like a device. Mad that it’s become like muscle memory I suppose. Also, tell me if the rubber is any good, I’m always on the look out for effective rubbers! Xx

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Annie Ridout's avatar

I love reading about your creative career… always interesting and inspiring. Like a lovely patchwork blanket. Xx

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Java Ceridwen Bere's avatar

That’s a very lovely way of describing it Annie, thank you xx

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Jennifer Granville's avatar

It is amazing how much it all adds up to - not monetarily but just the sheer amount of 'work' that you make and do. And all of it is actually more about living your life than doing a job. I know self employment is scary and wobbly but goodness, when you write it all down it really does seem worth it!

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Java Ceridwen Bere's avatar

Yes, I think you’re right, it does all feel entangled, living a life and weaving my work through it. It is all consuming, but I suppose so is life. It can be a bit much, and sometimes it really can take up all my head space, but it also allows for presence in a way that I possibly wouldn’t have if I were working for someone else. I’m not sure. For now, it’s what works! x

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